fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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