I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
