yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
