I skipped work to stalk him.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
