So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
