I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
