There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
