I hate all girls vehemently.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it hurts more in the daytime
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
