K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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