he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
