It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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