ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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