last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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