He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
