Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Found the puke drawer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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