He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
