Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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