i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
