you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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