question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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