I just made out with a guy for $7.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can I color on your dick again?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
