Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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