my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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