So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
