anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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