her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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