I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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