just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize