I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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