I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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