Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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