I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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