what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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