Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
