so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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