i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
