there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
