you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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