Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
