Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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