don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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