if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
