what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Shame - the story of my life.
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