There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize