My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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