It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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