Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
