I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
