Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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