i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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