I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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