i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
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I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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