Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize