1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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