I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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