All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I fill condoms, not promises.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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