This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she peed on how many people?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
