google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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