I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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