Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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