Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
