apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize