That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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