Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
