If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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