I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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