HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
