i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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