im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
